Boundaries in christian dating

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Physical touch/intimacy should correspond with commitment. This doesn’t mean anything goes if you are engaged. What is your motivation -- power and control, gratifying your own ego, meeting a selfish need, or genuine affection?

If you feel convicted of certain behaviors, stop doing them.

You must decide before you go on the date what your limits will be.

It’s too difficult to think when passion overtakes you. You can resist temptation if you put on the whole armor of God (Eph.

We should date for fun, friendship, personality development and selection of a mate, not to be popular or for security.

Don't allow peer pressure to force you into dating situations that are not appropriate.

Henry Cloud and John Townsend have written a marvelous book called Boundaries in Marriage.

If you can’t stand the person but have a great physical relationship, rethink the relationship. If one person is uncomfortable with any type of physical expression, don’t do it. Don’t push a date to do anything that makes him/her feel uncomfortable.

Each relationship has its own set of boundaries to be respected.

For instance, in a friendship, you and your friend might have an understanding that you can talk on the phone until 11 p.m. on a school night, you would not be respecting that boundary.

That, I think, is a dynamic that so many couples dealing with a pornography addiction can understand. When fixing and helping don’t work, there is another way: boundaries.

The addict is addicted, and the spouse takes responsibility to “fix” and help. Fixing and helping is what happens when you’ve got a problem in the family. But boundaries are a total paradigm shift, and it takes time for us to be motivated enough—usually by extreme pain—to stop fixing and helping, and get some boundaries in place.

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